SURVIVOR

There are days that are harder,
And nights that are long.
There are times of great silence,
When I yearn for a song.
When the body is beaten,
And hope may seem frail.
When I stand up to win,
But it ends with a fail.
When all that’s around me,
Brings me great fear.
I try to hold on to,
That I am still here.

My scars tell the story,
That I hold deep inside.
Of how I was broken,
Of how I now rise.
They are there to remind me,
That through all of my pain.
I chose to move forward,
And to live again.

I have gone past expectation,
I’ve been put to the test.
I have fought past the feelings,
When I felt I was less.
I have walked through a storm,
That others may never face.

But it has made me remember,
That hardship has its place.

Everyday I continue,
I have already won.
For I am a Survivor,
And my day is not done.
As I simply press on,
From sun to sun.
I am a Survivor,
My day is not done….
My day is not done.

My name is Michele McLaren. On the morning of February 11, 2013, while crossing over 6th Avenue in New York City on my way to work, I was struck by a Lincoln town car belonging to a taxi and limousine service. I had the right of way, was hit and flipped over the car and left on the corner of  21st street. I lost consciousness for a spell of time.

I was awoken by a voice of a woman to my right telling me that she had just called 911 and that help was on the way. I never got to see her face to thank her. 

The ambulance came and I was given a neck brace while I was gently lifted on a gurney.

I don’t remember much but bits and pieces.

I remember being in the most excruciating pain and not able to move any part of my body on the left side.

I remember it being so cold outside.

I remember worrying that my boss would be upset with me because I was the one who needed to open up the store, and she lived in Staten Island and wouldn’t be in Manhattan in time to open. The EMT took my phone and called and left a message for my boss.

All I could worry about was that I would lose my job.

I was taken to the ER at Bellevue Hospital. At that point I was wheeled in and 2 nurses came to attend to me. They asked me a few questions that to this day I don’t remember.

I was shortly thereafter told that I would need to have staples placed on the top of the left side of my head to stop the bleeding. I didn’t understand.

I asked “What bleeding?” And before either one of them could answer, I lifted my hand to my head and pulled it down in front of my face. I screamed. At that moment it all became real. I cried hysterically. That was the beginning of my new normal.

I came across Family for Safe Streets in New York through a television program a few months after my crash. I was partially mobile but couldn’t go long distances without the aid of a cane. I started going to meetings on the regular and felt both a sense of healing as well as a sense of purpose being with them.

Since then I have undergone extensive physical therapy. The crash left me with a fractured pelvis, a herniated disc in my neck, mid back, and lower back. I also experience frequent migraines from the point of where my stitches were. My left side and lower back are in daily pain.

IN YOUR MEMORY

You were taken much too quickly,
As I battle to move on.
You fill up every thought,
In my heart you’re never gone.
I can still hear your laughter,
And how it flowed within this place.
I feel you with every heartbeat,
And see you in every face.
Your presence forever surrounds me,
Like the wind, I know you are near.
You are with me in my laughter,
You are with me in my tears.

In your memory I will continue,
To have others know your name.
To never let one single moment,
Forget the life in which you gave.
In your memory I will cling to,
Giving everyday my all.
Knowing you stand right beside me,
And clothed in strength, I will not fall.
In your memory I will persevere,
As you are laid to rest.
Striving to make this world better,
I will honor you with my best.